As my artist's statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance. -- Calvin and Hobbes

Monday, October 13, 2008

"Bill"; a nightmarish Halloween poem

It was going to be a dark and stormy night.

I was quickly running out of daylight.
I know I work better late
Even if eery things may seem to propagate

I was painting down in my studio
I picked a brush up from the floor
and noticed a very small jar by the door

I bent down to pick it up
to my surprise it was an ink cup

"Funny", I thought, as I scooted back to my desk
"I have never seen this before"

Strange as it was, I needed that cup,
I was working on a piece and ran out of black
"Such luck!"

Thoughtfully, I dipped my brush into the well
so velvety smooth it felt
it seemed to make the lines for me
my future was being dealt.

The piece was to be a house or graveyard of haunted souls
There would be some ghouls and goblins
for Halloween, I suppose.

But I hadn't put my ideas down; they were still faint
Yet the brush, it seemed to know what to paint
and the ink was the darkest dark I've seen
and in that darkest dark I saw
things I hadn't imagined before
Images of things coming to a door!

And then, not unlike before
I heard noises on my basement steps
I heard them come across the floor
I heard them just beyond the door

My dog came in and startled me
I laughed and thought of "Nevermore"

So, back to my drawing I went
eager to finish so I could post in my blog
the funny story of my startling dog

But the noise, I heard it again and again
while remarkable visions poured from my pen
I wanted to look up but wanted the thrill
so I continued to paint with my last will
Finally, it wrote to me some words
and stranger still when I read it aloud

It was from Bill (!)
commenting on my post from the night before

But the noises I found kept coming around
and finally to the corner I crept
where my trusty computer is kept
I discovered with my heart still pounding
it was an email alert softly resounding
to keep me in an endless loop of checking email even while I slept!

I whimpered awake from my nightmarish sleep
wiped the sweat and
trying not to make a peep
on this darkest of dark nights
I tiptoed down the hall
and into the office

Then, by the monitor lights
I checked my email and went back to bed
to dream up new blog posts in my head.


  1. That apple is really cool. Love the image and the words. You WILL be rewarded. Of course, it may not be until your next life but it is coming.

    Your admiring pal,

  2. Is that you singing for drinks? Does that work? Could you belt out a song to get me a beer? You won't be alone, I will hum along with you and maybe play a spoon on the side of a bottle.

  3. Well, I do have a certain way of getting what I want, like a table in a crowded restaurant! My mother warned me, though, to enjoy my youth and beauty while I can, because someday men will stop opening doors for me! :)

  4. I've been staring at my name so long I've put myself into a trance. It is starting to read Gillermo El Magnifico.

    You found any weeds 'round your place yet?

    I picked some at the hotel the day before yesterday intending to paint in my room. The concierge was giving me the piss eye because I missed a weed or so and came up with a handful of flowers. My room looked very nice.

  5. I picked you some flowers to make up for that lost thumb.

  6. I have viewed several from the backporch, wondering if my dogs peed on them yet. When I find something of a non-odiferous quality, I'll pick! I have variety here, even something that resembles heather, and Kudzu everywhere!

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. My thumbs have been reattached. No perfect manicure, though. I don't have time for that press on crap when there's some perfectly good turpentine waiting to ruin it!


Have something nice to say? Put 'er there!

Things to Ponder

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches. -Andy Warhol

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
-Walt Disney