As my artist's statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance. -- Calvin and Hobbes

Monday, April 1, 2019

Here’s a reprint of a blog post I made many years ago. Worth reposting, I think. 

So a while back, I decided I might be able to make a few bucks by painting mini versions of the masterpieces. I've been working on these for a while, but I'm finally ready to show them to the world. My problem is I never know when to quit.

Here's my knock off of "La Jaconde", portrait of Mona Lisa, on 8x12 hardboard. I think my ability to paint her stems from harboring deep within me a bit of the subtly indecent seductiveness that she had. I think I did a pretty good job, but I kind of went crazy with the yellow ochre and could have toned it down a bit more, as she looks like she has hepatitis. Also, looking back, I wish I had made that green in the background less seafoamy.

Ok, I admire Gallileo's contributions, but Da
Vinci to me was the President of geniuses, a real all-American, a grand story teller, inventor and artist...treated the way an artist should be treated; (a real Renaissance man, like literally.) I can't get enough of him. I liked him long before the movie and the "Find the hidden meaning through a psychotic wave of conspiracy" fan club!

I don't tell many people this story due to the obvious display of vanity, but DaVinci died on my birthday, May 2, and I have been told that I am an incarnation of his brilliant soul. I know, it seems a little far fetched, but if you knew me, you would understand. Plus, I also design things that sink and can't fly.

Here's my knock off of "Lady with an Ermine", 8x10 hardboard.  Weird, people liked weasels back then too.

I had a hard time painting those muscular forearms like the original, because I kept thinking this was a bit overboard! They were really into muscular function back then. There was a large underground movement of the macabre, where they used to take cadavers and skin them and pose them to study the muscles. This was used for medical and artistic study, and was highly illegal. Nowadays, they collect and display skinned people and charge admission!  Gotta love capitalism for education you can't get at home!

Well, stay tuned as I prepare to recreate some more less than perfect masterpieces for profit and please let me know what you think of these. Really, though, your opinion probably means nothing to me anyway. (How was that? I was trying to be aloof.)

You know, DaVinci himself said art is never really finished, only abandoned...I know how he felt; literally. 


Things to Ponder

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches. -Andy Warhol

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
-Walt Disney
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